La Vie en Rose: archive / rss / ask / theme

Dear ________,

I’m sorry for writing to you again it’s like I know I shouldn’t but the self control kind of goes out the window when it’s 12:30 in the morning.

So I am in New York at the moment. And honestly it is amazing. I was feeling really stuck back in the bay area, and going back to where I grew up really might’ve been the worst decision I have made so far because there I forget that there’s so much that I still haven’t seen or been through. I’m not so terrified anymore about the gray area beyond my next half-year when I graduate because after being in the big city I realize it’s kind of awesome figuring things out along the way.

I flew here by myself but so far I’ve visited my uncle and aunt in New Jersey that I haven’t seen in 10 years! Family is a funny thing, because honestly these people are like strangers to me but from the moment I saw them it was like I cared about them so much already and it didn’t matter that we rarely ever talked. The east coast as I’m sure you know is really, really cool. Colonial looking houses and just a different feeling entirely! And I saw post-hurricane wreckage and an abandoned boardwalk and it is definitely an eye-opener.

I arrived in Manhattan yesterday…and am staying for the rest of the week. I think I’ve fallen in love with Central Park, and even though it’s still technically winter here it’s probably one of the most beautiful places I’ve been! I have a lot of places I want to see everyday but I am making sure to walk through the park at least once a day. Tomorrow I’m teaching myself how to use the subway and taking it to see an old friend in Brooklyn, and honestly I’m scared but at the same time I just don’t want to be so afraid anymore. So I’m going to go into this with fists in the air and see what happens. It’s probably really dumb that I can get so much out of taking a little subway by myself but even though it’s only been a couple days into my trip I already feel like myself again. I forgot I could be fun if I wanted, and that I didn’t have to feel so tired all the time. I forgot how much I loved museums and learning about stuff besides psychology, I forgot that there was a life besides school.

This trip even just a few days in has meant more to me than I had even planned for. I just hope I can keep this up even when I return back.

Sent from my iPhone

nevver: Calvin and Hobbes
"Lately I’ve been thinking about who I want to love, and how I want to love, and why I want to love the way I want to love, and what I need to learn to love that way, and who I need to become to become the kind of love I want to be…and when I break it all down, when I whittle it into a single breath, it essentially comes out like this: Before I die, I want to be somebody’s favorite hiding place, the place they can put everything they know they need to survive, every secret, every solitude, every nervous prayer, and be absolutely certain I will keep it safe. I will keep it safe."
— Andrea Gibson (via kimbooher)

(via afgham)
mo5tlfh1122: اللهم إنا نستغفرك بعدد ما ألهتنا الدنيا عن الرجوع إليك .  ..*
onchocerca: xonurul: Yep I did.
noperfectdayforbananafish: Untitled by Amy Johnson, via 500px
"Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace."
— The Dalai Lama (via corner-of-positivity)

(via afgham)
"Sometimes you’re 23 and standing in the kitchen of your house making breakfast and brewing coffee and listening to music that for some reason is really getting to your heart. You’re just standing there thinking about going to work and picking up your dry cleaning. And also more exciting things like books you’re reading and trips you plan on taking and relationships that are springing into existence. Or fading from your memory, which is far less exciting. And suddenly you just don’t feel at home in your skin or in your house and you just want home but “Mom’s” probably wouldn’t feel like home anymore either. There used to be the comfort of a number in your phone and ears that listened everyday and arms that were never for anyone else. But just to calm you down when you started feeling trapped in a five-minute period where nostalgia is too much and thoughts of this person you are feel foreign. When you realize that you’ll never be this young again but this is the first time you’ve ever been this old. When you can’t remember how you got from sixteen to here and all the same feel like sixteen is just as much of a stranger to you now. The song is over. The coffee’s done. You’re going to breathe in and out. You’re going to be fine in about five minutes."
— The Winter of the Air (via h-o-r-n-g-r-y)

(Source: kalynroseanne, via goddamnedpansies)
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